Courage or Cowardice?
I am the one who everyone believes is put together. I come to class, get good grades, dress nicely, has perfect etiquette. The one who is in control.
People don’t realize that I am the one who hates herself everytime she sees her reflection, the one who goes through life completely ignored. The one without hope. I’m the one without the problem.
I am also the one who is killing herself slowly and painfully with each passing day. The one who can’t swallow anything, without thinking of how I can get it out of my body. I am the one who stopped trying to eat. I am the one who spent three years running from failure. The one who only sees failure and inadequacy.
I hate myself. I hate my life. I will never be enough to deserve anything real. I don’t even deserve to live. I am forgotten. I am ignored. I am a waste of space and I’m not even sure why I can’t just end myself,
Am I courageous for living?
Or am I a coward?